Not This Week

I just can’t do it today. I tried to write my usual Sunday afternoon post, but couldn’t.

Over 200 – and counting – incidents of discrimination, hate, harassment and terrorism against minorities and women have occurred around the country since last Tuesday. Not one elected Republican however, from Trump on down, has spoken out against these acts. It’s not a hypothetical for us either: Two male students from nearby Babson College drove through Wellesley the day after the election waving a Trump flag and yelling racially-offensive and gender-demeaning slurs at the students, including our 18-year old Asian daughter.

Next to all that, what I’m cooking or what TV show we’re watching or asking whether you prefer mayonnaise or Miracle Whip feels very trivial. Bad, very bad things have been happening. Yes, life goes on but I’m not sure right now what that life is going to look like and how the going on will proceed.

Brett and I are as white and WASP-y as they come. My ancestors arrived in American on the Mayflower; Brett’s arrived in Virginia a little bit later. But our family is not white. We have three beautiful, intelligent, loving and proudly American daughters who happened to have been born in China, a Japanese daughter-in-law, and two grandchildren, both U.S. citizens, who are half-Japanese. My brother-in-law is from Mexico and nieces and nephews share that heritage. Another niece, also adopted, is black.

Our girls have understood from when they were little that outside of family, friends and their school environments, many people only see immigrant, outsider, and other when they look at them (besides China Doll, exotic, submissive, etc.) because they are Asian. They have been the recipients of racial slurs before and now are worried about receiving them again, or worse. They are scared, and Brett and I are angry and hurt that they have been made to feel this way. I am frightened for so many people in this country right now, and can only begin to imagine their fear.

So, no Sunday Afternoon post today. Maybe next week.

15 thoughts on “Not This Week

  1. Amy says:

    Laura, I’m so sorry your daughter was the target of Trump supporters filled with hate….I feel so bad for her and for all people who have been terrorized by these thugs. I was horrified and sickened when I woke on Wednesday to the result of the election; I stared at my husband, who previously voted a Republic ticket before 2016, and asked, how?? how did this happen? What happened to America and her ideals of inclusion? I don’t know what to think but I go around with a heavy heart and disbelief, still. My thoughts are with her and all of you.


    • Laura says:

      Well, it appears the majority of Americans did vote for the American ideals of inclusion, by a wide margin, but our antiquated electoral system takes precedence. And now thugs and other racists feel emboldened. I don’t think it’s going to go away any time soon either.


  2. Denise says:

    I’ve been telling myself to get over it all week. But you know what, I’m NOT going to get over it. I’m angry and disheartened and frustrated. And I’m going to use that to keep fighting the good fight. There are a whole hell of a lot of us, and we will continue to make a difference and keep people safe and well. We HAVE to, it’s the American way. WE will make America great again!


    • Laura says:

      I’m not over it either, Denise. I told myself that I would never discuss politics on this blog, and under normal circumstances I wouldn’t. But what it happening now is not normal, and I refuse to stay silent about it. America is already great, or at least it was. I am very afraid for the future here.


  3. Tahoe girl says:

    It’s still a shocker. So sorry about your beautiful daughter getting harrassed. it’s because of what Trump said and how he acted, these racist people think it’s ok. what is next? I read alot of bloggers and one mentioned Trump starting an only news TV station. But don’t you remember that’s exactly what Hitler did. He wanted only the news he wanted to be out. Yes, many TV stations are biased, so just watch the ones you like. I cannot believe,also, how people think, educated people think, that Trump is one of them and will make America great. it is the biggest con game ever. He was born rich and is a billionare. Do you really think he understands what it’s like to be poor, to live on Welfare. ??? He has duped those people who think that. Plus, we all know Obama care was flawed, but many people, like me with serious preexisting conditions wouldnt have had the chance for affordable health care. I fortunately, am under my husbands insurance but there is this real issue for many of my myeloma buddies.
    It is a scarey place we live and we are certainly divided. Nothing anyone says is going to convince the Trump supporters of anything different. And of course, on my side, I’m open minded, but I just cannot see how a megliomaniac, racist, homophobic etc, is going to do our country any good.


    • Laura says:

      Yes, what’s next? He’s named a racist, misogynist, anti-Semite white nationalist to be his Chief White House strategist which I believe is only going to embolden more racist and sexist acts. Some of the stuff that’s already been done is truly horrifying, and makes me fearful for what’s to come.


  4. Vivian Gibson says:

    So sorry your family is having to put up with those idiots. Like the lady in the ad who discovered she is from everywhere, so are we all. It is so disheartening to see our society devolve this way but we have to keep our ideals and share them with as many people as possible. What we can do as individuals is speak out against bigotry and hatred and stand up for and with those who are persecuted. Thank you for speaking out.


    • Laura says:

      This is a “non-apology apology.” All he needed to say was “I’m truly sorry for what I said and did on the Wellesley campus. I was wrong to participate, and there is no justification for my actions. I sincerely apologize.” And end it there. The fact that he felt he needed to add that he wasn’t a racist, a bigot or a homophobe just shows he didn’t mean it, and that he feels he’s the one being victimized. I heard that the father of one of the boys donated enough money to have a building on the Babson campus named after him – I think it’s the reason why Babson is having such a hard time over whether to expel him and the other boy.

      Unfortunately, I think the demonstrations are going to go on for a while. Many people are very angry and scared about the future, and for now this is what they can do.


  5. Hawaii Planner says:

    I’m so sorry. My goal for myself is to be positive, focus on kindness, and put in more time & effort on actionable ways to influence the things I care about. Easier said than done, across all of those things. I feel so terrible for the girls, and hope that things settle down in this country (on both sides) quickly.

    I’m walking a delicate dance right now between not reading the news to keep my blood pressure down, but staying informed enough to know how to help? It’s hard, but right now I just need a break. I’ve already decided on a few tactical next steps (volunteering, donating, etc) & will continue to explore those in the mean time.


    • Laura says:

      I too am going to focus on kindness and trying to make a positive difference. But I’m also not going to sit by and just hope things get better; I am going to speak out when I can and do what else I can to make a difference.

      People are grieving right now. This isn’t just “my side lost.” Something big has shifted, and there are changes coming. Ominous music isn’t going to start playing in the background, but lines are going to be appearing that cannot be crossed. Many will never see them, or think they won’t affect them, but they will.


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