Probably the most exquisite expression of mono no aware in Japan is the cherry blossoms that arrive each spring, their beauty enhanced by an accompanying sadness that they will only last for a short while.
Mono no aware (物の哀れ), literally “the pathos of things”, is a Japanese term for the awareness of impermanence (無常, mujō), or transience of things, and both a transient gentle sadness (or wistfulness) at their passing as well as a longer, deeper gentle sadness about this state being the reality of life. Mono no aware is the ephemeral nature of beauty – the quietly elated, bittersweet feeling of having been witness to the dazzling circus of life – knowing that none of it can last. It’s basically about being both saddened and appreciative of transience (from Wikipedia).
Brett and I never imagined our great adventure would end so abruptly. We had planned to travel into the year 2022 and had a list of places we wanted to visit. We were going to spend at least a year in Mexico, and travel from there back to Argentina and other places in South American, and also visit Panama to see the canal before heading back over to Europe.
But life has handed us, and the world really, a reminder of the impermanence of things, and of the transience that occurs in life, sometimes suddenly. This is not to show the foolishness of making plans, as some would say, but that all things in life, both good and bad, eventually change or come to an end, as does life itself.
While Brett and I are both happy and grateful to be back on Kaua’i, we’re also sad that our nomadic life has ended. We know we will travel again someday, but not in the same way or with the same feelings of adventure we carried with us these past months. We miss our life on the road, of being in a different place, doing new things, meeting new people, and learning new ways.
We grew very close as we traveled as we depended on each other for both companionship and sustenance. Our relationship flourished on the road and we found new strengths and a deeper connection to each other. Many of the adaptations we made along the way will stay with us, but we are now having to pick up and remember old patterns and habits once again. Whether these old ways will last or be needed remains to be seen, but after such a sudden change to our lives, they are comforting and are helping us make sense of where we are and what we need to do.
What a good time we had though! We were blessed to be able to travel as we did, and we had a truly wonderful time doing it. We constantly felt as if we had won the golden ticket. Neither of us can remember a bad experience, although we remember becoming frustrated at times. We took more pictures than we can count and these past few days we’ve been amazed by how clear our memories that go with the pictures are, that we can remember what we ate that day or people we met, or what was going on around us when we took the picture.
We knew our nomadic life wasn’t going to last forever, but we thought we’d get to end our full-time travels on our own terms and on our own schedule. Change, however, writes its own rules from time to time. The changes we’re facing now have happened quickly, too quickly actually, and adjustment to this new normal of isolation and sadness is not easy. What is easy now is to be scared. We know though that this too will eventually pass and life will change yet again. Our task now is to appreciate the transience and impermanence we face for what it is – an integral part of life. Mono no aware. We are not the same people we were before. For now, we can and will take joy that we, our family, and friends are well, that we have good friends nearby, that our youngest daughter is with us and safe, and that we have returned to a place we love.
The Occasional Nomads 
It is sad that you have to stop traveling that you enjoy so much. It not quite the same but I did a lot of business travel especially internationally right up until I retired 5 years ago and it’s that I miss the most so I can relate. At the same time we are in Kyoto Japan again visiting our granddaughter for now 6 weeks instead of 4. We just decided it was better to be here vs home now as life is more normal here. Airline cancelled our flight so we just decided to rebook 2 weeks later. There have been 4 deaths in Hamilton county IN since we left so no hurry to get back. It good that you were able to get back to a place you love and with friends and that the daughter made it. Stay healthy
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Bob, I live in Hamilton County in Noblesville. How serendipitous to find your comment today. As of today, my husband and I are safe and relatively healthy considering that I am 70 and have MS, and hubby is 87, a diabetic and has heart issues.
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Beth-
Hope you are well. My BIL has been in hospital in Indy with the virus for more than a week on ventilator. Stable but not really improving yet. He was sick at home for a week before. So this has been a long haul and if he gets better my leave him with reduced health. He is 68 with no known respiratory health issues. You really can’t understand just how awful this disease can be until you watch the day to day as somebody go through it. Stay inside!
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Thinking all the good thoughts for your brother-in-law.
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Beth, as you may see in my answer to Bob’s comment, I also have a connection to Hamilton County. All of our family there is healthy although I do have two older cousins in Westfield (in their 80s) that I pray weather this. They seem to be in good health overall, but I’m not sure.
Good thoughts for you and yours that you stay safe and healthy!
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We are grateful we got to see and do so much in such a short period of time, but as I wrote, the decision to stop wasn’t ours, and that makes a difference.
I hope your stay in Japan goes well – I would love to be there now, but according to our son things are getting ready to explode once again. People were really not practicing social distancing any more in Tokyo by the time we left – the weather was good, the cherry trees were in bloom, so people were having parties, etc. We are awaiting word now whether the kids will return to school next week or not. Apparently high schools in Tokyo will remain closed.
Small world: My father was born and grew up in Hamilton County, in Westfield, and I still have relatives there! I spent several happy summers there either on my grandmother’s farm or with cousins in town, back when Carmel was nothing more than a wide spot in the road (seriously). It’s all so different now, but the area holds a special place in my heart.
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Beautiful! Thank you.
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What a lovely post today. Well said, and your writing clearly captures your feelings— and may I dare say the feelings of many who face change or new realities today.
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I do OK with change as long as I am somewhat in control in the situation. Right now it barely feels like there’s anything to grab on to, and we’re just going along because we have to. Things just keep getting worse. We’ll make it, but it’s going to be a bumpy, scary ride.
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What a beautiful post! I know I will travel again, and I sure will not take it for granted. But in the mean time, I am learning new things about myself, how to cope and adapt, and I really think I will come through this stronger.
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We too will never take traveling for granted again. We have been through some tough times before and come out stronger and feel like we will again, although the whole world and the structures we know are going to be very, very different.
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Thank you for such a beautiful post. It was so eloquently written. I have enjoyed living vicariously (and basically lurking) with you as you travel.
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I hope our new adventures on Kaua’i will be as entertaining, although somehow I don’t think so. I’m going to keep blogging but slow down a bit while things sort themselves out. We’ll travel again someday – there are still places we want to go, things we want to do.
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Kauai’s coronavirus cases has stayed the same. 12 cases originally, 7 left the island and back to the mainland. We have 4 cases in home isolation and one in the hospital. Our mayor did a fantastic job in keeping us safe. Real safe.
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Yes, we track it every day. I got scolded by the manager of our bank the other day when I came in to make a withdrawal. I showed her my letter from Emergency Management in Honolulu stating I could take care of essential services (like banking!) because we arrived on the island before the quarantine. She didn’t care because her “CEO said no one who had been overseas should be served.” I understood her concerns, but how did she think was I supposed to get money out of my account? Otherwise everyone here has been more than helpful and understanding, and we have been careful.
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Florida is locking down as of tomorrow but the state already has 9008 cases and growing. Essential business are still open but you have to make multiple trips to the grocery store because they are out of so many items. I stood in line at Sam’s Club for two hours because they had gotten a shipment of toilet paper, soap and food in the night before. Everything was gone within 30 minutes of opening even though everything was limited to one per person. I think Hawaii did a much better and faster job of shutting things down.
This post is so poignant but it ends on a great note. Family is everything. Stay safe.
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I’m afraid to say it, but I think what happens in Florida may turn out to be one the greatest tragedies we learn of in this country. Too little, too late – I hope I am wrong. Hawaii did a great job of shutting down, although somewhat surprisingly there are still visitors coming to the islands, although very, very few – less than 200 or 300 when it used to be in the thousands every day.
It’s the same here for toilet paper, soap and other items. They come in and in less than 30 minutes they’re gone. I hope we can at least find some toilet paper before we move out of the condo.
We’re worried about the girls back east, but they’re both doing all the right things and staying safe so far. The virus may be ready to explode again in Japan which of course has us worried for our son and family, especially our DIL as she has to ride the train to work every day (hopefully she can start taking the car if things get bad, but parking in downtown Tokyo would be astronomical). We’re all staying in touch though and cheering each other up, and that’s what matters.
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Beautiful post, Laura! So much to be grateful for here, and so many things that make me sad. It really brings home my Buddhist friend saying life hold 10,000 joys and 10,000 sorrows. At this point, I just hope my family comes through this safe and healthy. Best wishes for your move…
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What a lovely post, the concept of “mono no aware” really resonates with me. I’m very grateful to have done as much travelling as I have. Would love to do more one of these days, but am content if that doesn’t work out for whatever reason.
At our local Costco, I was told they’re still getting daily shipments of toilet paper but the trick to snagging a package was getting there before the store opens and lining up because they usually sell out within the first 20 to 30 minutes. Good luck!
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Just catching up today. For some reason your posts haven’t been coming to my inbox so I missed your hasty departure saga. Glad to hear you are getting resettled, have your daughter with you, and everyone is well.
We had planned to be in France from March 23-April 9. Obviously not! But we are safe and social distancing in small town Alaska. My husband is working from home. My bookstore is open only for porch pickup, or delivery for those who are sheltering in place. Only 2 staff in the store, no public. We take requests via phone, email, and FB. So far it’s working ok.
Best wishes on getting resettled! Be safe and stay well!
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