Do I get ever get bored these days? YES. Do I ever get frustrated and angry that we haven’t been anywhere off of Kaua’i in nearly 18 months? YES, YES, YES! Do I feel at times like I’m in a rut, doing the same tasks over and over and over with no end in sight? YES! Do I wish that things would happen faster than they are? YES (for some but no for others).
Lately I’ve been thinking about my grandfather, who walked on crutches almost his entire life. He was born in a sod house on the prairie in Nebraska in 1887, the middle of three boys, but moved with his family to California after a bout with polio in 1898 left his legs twisted and useless. Instead of becoming a lifelong invalid and hiding himself away he instead decided to challenge the status quo head-on and live the best life he possibly could. He worked as a teenager at the Green Hotel in Pasadena pulling apart wooden crates that the restaurant produce came in. He saved enough to put himself through USC and earned a degree in 1909, when the disabled were expected to stay at home and not be seen. He bought and taught himself to drive a conventional car, and then drove and camped across the whole country and back before the Roaring 20s arrived, repairing the car himself when needed. He married, created his own successful insurance business which supported his extended family during the Depression, and raised three children and put them through college. Although he couldn’t enlist during the two world wars, he served as his neighborhood’s blackout warden during WWII and fulfilled other necessary tasks as he could. He was an active and respected member of and leader in his church and several civic organizations right up until his death in 1959.
My grandfather didn’t ask for help and he didn’t complain – he just got up every day and did what needed to get done. He died when I was seven years old, and for the longest time I just missed the man who read to me, and gave me 3 Musketeer Bars and Black Jack gum (he loved them). As I grew older and learned more about him, I came to see and appreciate what an accomplishment his whole life had been, and he is now one of my strongest role models. Accept what you are given, do what needs to be done, and face what needs to be faced . . . without complaint.
So, I think I can manage to get through another 16 months of living comfortably in Hawaii without complaining. I’ve decided to make the effort to appreciate everything we have here, and how blessed we have been for being able to live on Kaua’i. I will practice patience as time continues to move on, and I know we will eventually reach our goal. Everything doesn’t need to be sold, the bank accounts don’t need to be full, and reservations don’t need to be made right now. I’m looking forward to the future, but want to go forward feeling more grateful and positive about having the time to get to that goal in the best possible shape. And, I want to appreciate where we are now as well as all that we have, which is everything we need.
The Occasional Nomads 
Nicely said Laura. I think we have to remember to not get so focused on the future that we forget to live in the now. I think there are a lot of unhappy, stressed people in the world today, scared of what is going on, puzzled as to what kind of future they will have. It’s been a wake up call for me as I started reading comments on some of my FB groups. I am a member of what I would consider to be non controversial topics yet the words that are being said to each other, the way people jump down the throats of others, it was an eye opener. What does someone say that gets them kicked out of a gardening group for bullying? Cycling group harmless comments are being turned into witch hunts. I’m not a commentor on the groups rather just an observer and I’m quickly learning to stay offline as much as possible so I don’t get dragged into feeling the rage.
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There is so much rage these days; I don’t get it either. Where did it and does it all come from? The judgement? COVID and our current situation have fed it, but it was around and growing before the virus showed up.
Anyway, I’m excited about the future but am trying to live more in the present, and be grateful for all I have. I don’t want to feel miserable.
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I know you thought about writing a book a while back. Do you have any more interest in that? You’re a wonderful writer!
As I wind down my first career – I’m now working fully at home and just on special projects – I can see I’m going to need to find a few things to occupy my time that don’t involve eating out and drinking wine! I never did decide what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I am grateful to have the chance to find something new. A couple of close friends and I have thought about writing a book together. And I also want to start dipping my toe into the nomadic life as well. It’s an interesting crossroads, but just like you, I’m still glad to just have the time to figure it out.
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LOL – I never figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up but here I am and it’s all turned out OK. Brett and I were just talking today about how our nomadic life fits us perfectly, and how great it is that we’re able to do it now (COVID notwithstanding). We talk every day now about our travels – there’s so much to dissect and reminisce about, and I’ll always be grateful for that.
There is no book in me. Blogging has turned out to be the perfect venue for me – I can write but with no deadlines. I’m my own boss.
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I had a similar epiphany this morning reading an essay about autumn, changes, and gratefulness. Sometimes it’s difficult to keep my mental attitude where I want it to be, but I feel so much better when I stay positive, look for the good, and realize gratefulness.
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I have always been an optimist, a “glass half full kind of gal,” and I don’t like it when I get discouraged. I have been feeling discouraged lately, and knew some changes were in order. We changed our travel dates, made a few other changes around here, and I feel more like myself again. Finding that photo of my grandpa was a catalyst as well.
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Keep on keeping on, Laura. Give thanks. The grand essentials of happiness are something to do, something to love and something to hope for (by a k chalmers). I’m a big believer that there are many different places and things in the world but not necessarily better than what’s in front of me.
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Well, I’ve got all three: plenty to love, lots to do, and something big to look forward to.
I keep reminding myself that I could be in far less nice places than Kaua’i – we are very blessed and fortunate to be able to live here.
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We like you and Brett, left Portland during COVID last year after 21 years living in both the SE and NE sides of PDX. We moved to a location on the Puget Sound with stunning views, and great summer weather days so far. And like you both, we have had to place our international travel plans (including some to Hawaii) on hold for the time being. We take heart of the time in transition by working on house projects, but now they are ending and it is a challenge during our low key time. We also looked at our ancestors that came to the US and their humble beginnings. All we can say is that we are so grateful to what we have and our new life (even though it is yard based for now) compared to the humble beginnings of our grandparents. Maybe this period will provide us all with a greater appreciation in the future travels and adventures to come.
All the best, Monty
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I like what you say at the end, that we will hopefully appreciate our future travels more because of what we are going through now. I keep reminding myself that it will get better, that we will be traveling again, that we will have new adventures.
I know a bit about my ancestors on both sides, but this might be a good time to find out more and place them in historical perspective. I plan to visit the village that my maternal great grandmother came from in England – she’s the nearest relative that immigrated. All came from humble beginnings but created a good life for themselves and their families here.
We lived a total of 22 years in Portland – we started out in NE and moved to the SE when our girls were in elementary school (they were all in the Mandarin program at Woodstock Elementary). Two summers ago we stayed in an apartment in the west hills, next to OHSU, and said that’s the only place we’d live if we ever went back – so different and so lovely up there (although not as convenient to stores, etc.).
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I almost always like your blog and have been following since you had that terrible landlord back awhile ago. I found today’s blog especially inspirational during these times.
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Thank you – I’m glad it was meaningful for you. My grandfather was a very inspirational man.
The horrible landlord – he was truly awful. Nicest guy imaginable when we met him, then downhill all the way once we started renting from him. He’s still in business but between losing in court and ticking off the local housing authority, hopefully he’s not as bad as before.
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Brilliant story. I think there are lessons for us all from many of our grandparents. Their forbearance, persistence, stick-with-it-ness. And not only accepting but making a strength of routine and slow pace.
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I was fortunate to grow up near my (maternal) grandparents, and have no idea how my life would have turned out especially if not for my grandmother. Total unconditional love. She and my grandfather survived the flu epidemic of 1918-1919, and both were older when they married (and neither of them thought they would ever marry). They were far from perfect, but created a wonderful, successful life for themselves through perseverance and hard work, and left an impressive legacy although they never acted to impress anyone.
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Good points.My granddaddy and grandma were small farmers and raised six kids there during the Depression. My momma always talked about how grateful she was for heat, air conditioning, toilet, and hot water. Your grandad sounds like a very good, hardworking, and kind man
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Both my grandparents grew up poor, Grandpa in Nebraska, my grandmother in Illinois. Both were middle children who for different reasons thought they would never marry, but they found each other in Southern California of all places. My grandmother once said that Grandpa had the strong mind and she had the strong back that made their marriage a success. They both knew great happiness and the deepest sorrow (they lost one baby at six months, and another was stillborn). They were hardworking, caring people who were grateful for all they had. They left a wonderful legacy and I am blessed to have had them in my life.
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The Castle Green does fundraisers (not since COVID-19) in which the building is open and a number of owners allow you to walk through their units. It is an amazing building but the electrical system is decrepit and does not support air conditioning. The place is fine in cooler weather but a beast when it gets hot. One of the gems here in Pasadena
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I knew that the Green Hotel is now called Castle Green although I did not know it had been turned into residences. I loved driving by it when I was young (such an iconic building), and loved knowing that my grandfather had worked there – it made hime even more special (it wasn’t until I was older that I found out what his job there actually was though). I would love to go through it now.
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Wonderful reflection. It seems so easy to get frustrated and feel stuck in this pandemic. But when I think back on what my ancestors lived through, it’s really not much, is it? We’re used to a lot of freedom, the ability to whatever we please when we please. Our modern conveniences have spoiled us. Even visiting the UK, I found myself frustrated by the lack of a tumble dryer and having to time laundry to the weather. My goodness. What my grandparents endured during the depression should keep me grateful forever. You grandfather really had courage and determination. Great story.
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I have often said that I would have made the worst pioneer if I had had to make that journey to the west. I can barely stand the trip in an air-conditioned car! We initially found going without some things to be a challenge when as we started traveling, but we adjusted. We currently don’t have a dishwasher and it hasn’t been a problem, so whenever I look at rentals on Airbnb that’s not a must-have any more – we know we can do without (a washing machine is more important; a dryer nice but not a must have either). We know we can do without a car as long as there is good public transportation. My grandmother never learned to drive – she took the bus or walked especially after my grandfather died. I try to channel them whenever I find myself getting whiny about things.
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Great essay. We should all be more appreciative of the world in which we live. Thanks for sharing. Your grandfather is a true example of hard work, perserverance and dedication.
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It took growing older to appreciate what my grandfather accomplished in his life. He was a genuine pioneer, and practiced/modeled self-sufficiency and a can-do attitude. I think about my grandparents a lot when I find myself growing whiny about my life.
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My grandmother had a hard life. As a child she was given away or sold to a couple to do housework for them. She told mama that she remembers standing on an orange crate to reach the sink and wash dishes. At some point she returned to live with her father, he pulled her out of school after the second grade and burned every book he ever caught her with. Despite that, she had beautiful penmanship. loved reading and wrote beautiful poetry. She passed on that love of books to all her children who all graduated from high school. I sometimes wonder how much she could have accomplished with a different upbringing. I remember her and am grateful for all the opportunities I was given. I was the first but not the last grandchild to graduate from college and her love of books has been passed from generation to generation.
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I am saddened to read this, but I know there were many children in our grandparent’s generation who were placed into situations we can’t even imagine now. But, some people have incredible powers of perseverance in spite of hardship, and decide that those that come after should not experience or suffer what they did (while unfortunately, some think that because they suffered those after should too). As I read about your grandmother I kept thinking there must have been at least one loving person in her life, someone who believed in her and took the time to teach her to read and develop her love of books, her penmanship, and so forth because that’s all it takes in the life of a child: one person. What a wonderful legacy she left for all of her grandchildren, one that will be carried forward for generations.
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