Category: Miscellaneous

Another small group of things from March that were not enough for an individual post:

New sunglasses and reading glasses.

• I have my makeup and new glasses all pretty well figured out now, although I’m still walking into stores with my sunglasses on and wondering why everything stays dark. Four pairs of readers was the ideal amount – I always have a pair nearby no matter where I am: red in the living room, blue in the bedroom, aqua at work, and pinkish-red in my purse.

• We’ve had somewhat low water pressure since we moved in to our apartment last summer, but a couple of weeks ago the pressure suddenly dropped even more throughout the apartment and the kitchen water faucet and sprayer just sort of went crazy – the faucet got stuck in spray mode (we have a pull down spray nozzle) and started spraying in all directions, creating a mess every time we needed to use the faucet. Maintenance came the day after Brett called and we got a new hot water heater, a new kitchen faucet, new bathroom faucet, and new fancy shower head. The hot water heater had apparently been the problem – it was old and internal corrosion was clogging up everything and causing low(er) water pressure throughout the apartment. Everything works wonderfully now! We also love not having to pay for these types of repairs.

• Brett and I have decided we want to move to a larger apartment when our lease on this one expires this summer. Our current apartment remains uncomfortably small, especially when the grandkids are here, and there is almost no storage space – we feel like sardines packed in a can (and we have so little stuff too). For what we pay now or close to it we can get a larger apartment on the other side of the complex, which in our opinion is lovelier than the side we’re currently on and seems quieter as well. We also no longer want to live on the ground floor – we’ve had enough of the noise coming from above and also having all the noisy heat exchangers/air conditioners for the building outside our bedroom windows. If we take an upper floor apartment we can possibly have a wood-burning fireplace, something we would love and would use. We’ve talked with the main office, and can see on the first of June what’s coming available, tour a couple of the larger floor plans, and then make our choice. Our daughter-in-law and grandkids may also move to larger apartment here or they may move to a different (but close by) apartment complex, still on the way for drop-offs and pick-ups.

• WenYu and Meiling both surprised me with early birthday presents this month (my birthday isn’t until May). I have no idea what I did to deserve this generosity, but I received a lovely rechargeable lighted makeup mirror from WenYu, much needed because the lighting in our bathroom is awful. The mirror is about the size of an iPad, perfect for future travel. Meiling sent me the bread box I have been wanting! It’s as lovely as it looked in pictures, and the “bread clutter” on our counter has been taken care of.

• We also had a great visit with our son while he was here. He obviously spent most of his time with M and the kids, but they took us out to dinner and he came over a couple of times to visit with us. He’ll be back at the end of April for another week’s visit, and then back again for six weeks in the summer.

• We love our little Kaipo so much, but we were having an awful time keeping him from tearing up everything, from his toys to his bed. We stopped one day at a local pet supply store and bought him a few natural chew items (dried tendons, trachea, collagen – all things that “melt” as he chews versus breaking or snapping off) to see if we could redirect his chewing. He loves them, and it’s been like having a different dog living with us, one that’s content to sit calmly in his bed and chew instead of looking for things he can rip to bits. We’ve stocked up on a few more of the items so he should be good for a while.

I am typically not a big fan of flavored coffee, and ones I’ve tried in the U.S. have always been disappointing (to me), but during our time in San Miguel de Allende I rediscovered how good flavored coffees can be if done right. The lavender coffee we enjoyed at Lavanda Cafe was amazing, and so are these wonderful flavored coffees I found at City Market. We brought home several bags of it for ourselves, and I also picked up a few extra for a giveaway. Brett and I enjoy a small cup every evening with our dessert and it will be a sad day for us when it runs out.

There will be three winners for the giveaway. I will choose a first, second, and third place winner with first-place getting first choice of the flavor they prefer: cinnamon (canela), vanilla (vainilla), or hazelnut (avellana). The second-place winner will choose between the remaining two flavors, and third place will receive the remaining package.

All three of the flavors are delicious! The coffee is a darker roast, and the flavor is present but not overwhelming. There are no added sweetners. Each resealable bag contains an approximate half pound of coffee.

To enter, please leave a comment on this post only. You can enter once a day to increase your chances of winning, and receive an extra entry by either letting me know you are a subscriber or subscribing to the blog. Previous giveaway winners are eligible to enter again. This giveaway will be open through midnight CST Friday, September 3, with the winners chosen by a random name selector and announced on Sunday, September 4. Entries are limited to those in the United States or Canada. I will contact the winners to get addresses and mail the packages out during the first week of September. I apologize that I can only accept entries from the U.S. and Canada.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you! Please remember to leave your entry on this post only, but that you can enter every day.

Tomorrow I enter my eighth decade. I remember thinking as a child that teenagers seemed incredibly old and I couldn’t even imagine, let alone contemplate, how old my parents and grandparents were, and yet here I am now, an official old person.

I read this short essay by Annie Lamott the other day on turning 68 and thought it expressed my feelings pretty well about turning 70. Life is pretty crazy and awful right now, but it’s also pretty wonderful too.

Thank you to all of my readers for being a part of my life. And, don’t forget to look up!

I am going to be 68 in six days, if I live that long. I’m optimistic. Mostly.

God, what a world. What a heartbreaking, terrifying freak show. It is completely ruining my birthday plans. I was going to celebrate how age and the grace of myopia have given me the perspective that almost everything sorts itself out in the end. That good will and decency and charity and love always eventually conspire to bring light into the darkest corners. That the crucifixion looked like a big win for the Romans.

But turning 68 means you weren’t born yesterday. Turning 68 means you’ve seen what you’ve seen—Ukraine, Sandy Hook, the permafrost…Marjorie Taylor Greene. By 68, you have seen dear friends literally ravaged by cancer, lost children, unspeakable losses. The midterms are coming up. My mind is slipping. My dog died.

Really, to use the theological terms, it is just too frigging much.

And regrettably, by 68, one is both seriously uninterested in a vigorous debate on the existence of evil, or even worse, a pep talk.

So what does that leave? Glad you asked: the answer is simple. A few very best friends with whom you can share your truth. That’s the main thing. By 68, you know that the whole system of our lives works because we are not all nuts on the same day. You call someone and tell them that you hate everyone and all of life, and they will be glad you called. They felt that way three days and you helped them pull out of it by making them laugh or a cup of tea. You took them for a walk, or to Target.

Also, besides our friends, getting outside and looking up and around changes us: remember, you can trap bees on the bottom of Mason jars with a bit of honey and without a lid, because they don’t look up. They just walk around bitterly bumping into the glass walls. That is SO me. All they have to do is look up and fly away. So we look up. In 68 years, I have never seen a boring sky. I have never felt blasé about the moon, or birdsong, or paper whites.

It is a crazy drunken clown college outside our windows now, almost too much beauty and renewal to take in. The world is warming up.

Well, how does us appreciating spring help the people of Ukraine? If we believe in chaos theory, and the butterfly effect, that the flapping of a Monarch’s wings near my home can lead to a weather change in Tokyo, then maybe noticing beauty—flapping our wings with amazement—changes things in ways we cannot begin to imagine. It means goodness is quantum. Even to help the small world helps. Even prayer, which seems to do nothing. Everything is connected.

But quantum is perhaps a little esoteric in our current condition. (Well, mine: I’m sure you’re just fine.) I think infinitely less esoteric stuff at 68. Probably best to have both feet on the ground, ogle the daffodils, take a sack of canned good over to the food pantry, and pick up trash. This helps our insides enormously.

So Sunday I will celebrate the absolutely astonishing miracle that I, specifically, was even born. As Fredrick Buechner wrote, “The grace of God means something like, “Here is your life. You might never have been, but you are because the party wouldn’t have been complete without you.” I will celebrate that I have shelter and friends and warm socks and feet to put in them, and that God or Gus found a way to turn the madness and shame of my addiction into grace, I’ll shake my head with wonder, which I do more and more as I age, at all the beauty that is left and all that still works after so much has been taken away. So celebrate with me. Step outside and let your mouth drop open. Feed the poor with me, locally or, if you want to buy me something, make a donation to UNICEF. My party will not be the same without you.

I don’t often highlight specific products, but in an age where products don’t often meet the hype, Duckfeet is the real deal.

I have very difficult feet when it comes to finding comfortable shoes. Both my feet are wide, with high arches. Thankfully they are not as bad as they were in the past but they are still troublesome at times. I had bunion surgery in 2013 on both feet; one foot was a success, the other not so much, so my feet are now essentially two different sizes. I have tried many well-known, expensive brands of shoes over the years in my efforts to find comfortable, well-made shoes, but those experiments have often ended with one shoe that falls off and one that I can barely squeeze my foot into.

When Meiling was a baby I had a pair of fisherman sandals, made by Rockport if I remember correctly, that I quite literally wore out. They were extremely comfortable, and I walked everywhere in them for nearly three years until the leather fell apart. Every since I have looked for a similar pair but never found any that matched the style and quality of that pair I loved.

Last month Meiling sent me a picture of some sandals she was preparing to buy, fisherman sandals made by a company called Duckfeet. I got very excited when I saw them because 1) They were exactly the style of fisherman sandals I had been looking for over the years; and 2) Duckfeet shoes are naturally built for wide feet with a wide toe box.

Duckfeet are known for their minimalist, foot-formed design that offers ample room for toes to move and air to reach the feet . . . . Each pair of Duckfeet is handcrafted in Europe without the use of synthetic materials . . . . No two pair of Duckfeet are exactly alike. Every pair of boots, shoes, and sandals is naturally tanned and processed by hand, allowing for subtle variations in the leather. These variations are highlighted by the way you wear them, giving each pair its own story.

I had a pair of black sandals on my provisioning list, and since last month was a “Laura month,” I went ahead and bought a pair of Duckfeet black fisherman sandals to try. I was honestly expecting to be disappointed once again, but instead have been happy and impressed with my purchase. I received free shipping and they arrived quickly. They fit both of my weird feet right out of the box. The larger foot was only slightly tight at first but after wearing the sandals around the apartment for a few days it now fits comfortably. In fact, I like the sandals’ fit so much that I’ve added a pair of Duckfeet’s Chelsea boots to my list and will purchase before we leave. I have finally found a brand with stylish shoes that fit my weird feet, that are waterproof, and are built to last. I expect to wear these sandals for years, which is fine by me – the style is classic.

Duckfeet shoes have been making shoes in Denmark since 1975. Offering many styles, from sandals to boots, each pair is handmade made from high quality leather. The finish on the leather is naturally waterproof, and the crepe soles can be replaced when they wear out. A pair of Duckfeet shoes or sandals are not cheap, but prices are not into the stratosphere either or as high as other brands (like Mephisto, etc.). In spite of their width, they are stylish and come in a wide variety of colors.

I love my Duckfeet. May they give me years of wear and happiness!

When I found the online pictures of our San Clemente beach house a few weeks ago, I sent the link to my brother and sister knowing they would most likely enjoy seeing the house as much as I did. A few days later my sister sent me two photos, including the one above, which was taken at the beach house, in the vacant lot next door. I have no memory of the picture being taken or who took it. I don’t know how old I am in the picture, but I believe the photo was taken by my mom. I think it came from her collection of photos and slides that my brother took with him after Mom died, and transferred to jpgs. He sent some (all?) of the photos to my sister, including apparently some ones of me.

My first reaction when I saw the photo was, “What a sad, serious little girl.” Maybe I didn’t want to look at the camera that day (was the sun’s glare too much?). Was my mom going for an arty sort of photo with me looking pensive or serious? Was I there just to provide a contrast to the giant sunflower? Whatever was going on, the end result was a picture of a not very happy child.

A couple of other things leaped out at me from the photo as well. Growing up I always wore my hair boy-short because it was supposedly “too curly” and Mom complained she couldn’t manage it. What I see in that picture though is lovely thick, possibly wavy hair, and not the unmanageable curls my mom always inferred. Also, I was told that I couldn’t own or wear a skirt because I “didn’t have a waist” and a skirt would slip right off of me (I didn’t own a skirt until I reached high school). And yet, there I am in a pair of shorts with a waistband and they are not falling off or anything close to it. The reasons/excuses I was given as a child for not getting to wear a much-desired skirt or grow out my hair do not match the reality in the photo.

I did not have a miserable childhood by any stretch of the imagination, but I did have an unhappy one, and the photo above triggered deep memories of having to often live with different rules and expectations than were applied to my brothers and sisters. I know now that much of the sadness I felt back then was actually depression, something that did not go away until I reached my mid-20s. It took only a moment for this single photograph to quickly bring up so many of the old feelings, and a few days for those feelings to evaporate. Even decades later the memories have power.

When I look at that picture I wish I could go back and whisper in that little girl’s ear, to let her know even though life will be hard at times:

• She will have a long and happy marriage, and the best friend ever for a partner.
• She will raise four smart, successful, caring children, gain the best daughter-in-law, and have two beautiful grandchildren.
• She will form deep, long-lasting friendships over the years.
• She will make dreams come true, and learn to trust her own power to make good decisions and follow them through.
• She will have more determination and strength than she can imagine, and yet remain full of hope and optimism.
• When she needs it most, there will be people along the way who see her potential, and who will be there to support and encourage her.
• She will grow up healthy, with strong legs, a strong heart, and a strong mind to keep her active and carry her into old age.
• She will travel the world, and visit and experience places she can’t even dream of now.
• She will grow up to enjoy a full, wonderful, happy life, one that she is going to create.

I am thankful that in spite of the unpleasantness of the memories this photo brought back it also led me to reflect on how fortunate I have been with the life I have had, and for all that I have experienced, learned, and been given along the way . . . a blessed life.

I am not going to waste a lot of words on all that went wrong in this seemingly never-ending year we’re about to step out of. Our family has been fortunate, more fortunate than many if not most, but it was still a year full of surprises, disappointments, and things happening we didn’t expect. It was an expensive year for us as well – our move back to Kaua’i was not cheap, and we decimated one of our savings accounts to set up housekeeping again. We’re grateful we had the funds, but it was still a blow we were not mentally ready for.

However, in many ways it was a good year as well, and I feel it’s far more productive and satisfying to reflect on all the good things that happened this past year as well as the things that went right for us:

Our family has stayed healthy. I consider this our biggest accomplishment, not just for Brett and I, but for our entire family as well. Meiling has stayed isolated and worked from her apartment in NYC since March, and WenYu and YaYu have stayed safe in Massachusetts and in Pennsylvania. Our son and daughter-in-law worked at home for most of the year in Japan, and the grandkids survived months of remote learning. Brett and I have stayed in our apartment most of the time this year other than weekly trips to Costco or Walmart for food, up to Kukuiolono Park to walk, or over to the nearly always deserted beach at Barking Sands, but with vaccines becoming available this year we’re all hoping we will be able to gather here for a big reunion next year.

Here are the other good things that happened for us this past year:

• We ended up back on Kaua’i. We were frankly surprised last Christmas when our girls sat us down and said they hoped we would return to Kaua’i whenever we finished traveling. That got us to look at Kaua’i with fresh eyes when we visited last January, and when it was time to return to the U.S. because of the spreading pandemic, we knew just where to come. We couldn’t be happier and we know now for sure that Kaua’i/Hawaii is our permanent home.
• We found a great place to live this time. After living in an attractive but uncomfortable house and dealing with the Landlord from Hell for nearly three years during our previous time on the island, this time we lucked out and and found a great location and space to live in on the south side with great neighbors as well and a terrific landlord, and all for hundreds of dollars less than we were paying when we lived here before. The microclimate here is nicer as well, and we have everything we need just a short drive away, including great beaches and a wonderful weekly farmers’ market. We started from scratch getting ourself settled, but generous merchants on the island opened their stores for us so we could buy basic furniture, and we were able to get the rest of what we needed from Costco, Walmart, and Amazon over the next few months. The arrival of our storage shipment topped things off and our little apartment is now a comfortable and relaxing home.
• We saved more than expected in 2020 for future travels. When I set up a new travel savings account I thought we’d be lucky to put $1000 away this year for future travel, but we instead saved nearly $2000 ($1984.19), which includes a $500 Delta Airlines gift card I earned through doing Swagbucks. We put away everything “extra” that came our way all year (change, $1 bills, refunds, rewards, rebates, etc.), and it really added up. We’ve given ourselves a goal of saving $8000 this year – it will be a challenge, but we think we can pull it off.
• Both Brett and I have lost weight and are in better shape than ever. We completely changed how and what we eat, and I have lost 28 pounds since last June and Brett has lost 10. We both want to lose another 10 pounds this coming year and will be working toward that end. When we started walking up at Kukuiolono Park last May (a venue that has yet to lose our interest), we could barely manage two laps around the Pavilion (slightly over a mile). These days we’re walking nearly an hour each day and putting in almost five miles, and have a goal of doubling that by the end of 2021. We both honestly feel healthier than we have in ages, and we’re both sleeping better as well. 
• We’re living better than ever with less. We downsized a lot before we left Kaua’i in 2018, and having to start from from scratch again means we began here this time with a greatly reduced amount of stuff. We bought just 12 pieces of furniture and one rug, a few kitchen items (including an InstantPot), and a reduced number of linens and it’s all more than enough. We’re very much enjoying having less to keep track of and clean, and if and when we ever move in the future that will be a whole lot easier as well.
• Another child graduated from college. Although we missed her celebration, and she missed all the hoopla (literally) and traditions, another highlight of this past year was WenYu’s graduation from Wellesley College, with a degree in Computer Arts & Science. She has been able to earn money from her art since graduation, and has been hired as a graphic design instructor at an area tech school and will begin teaching after the first of the year. YaYu is now our only remaining student, with another year and a half to go, but this past fall we filled out a FAFSA for the last time! Yeah!

Good or bad, I’ll be happy to see 2020 go this week, and although life is most likely going to stay as it is now for the new few months, I’m looking forward to better and brighter things overall in 2021. I’m feeling hopeful that better days are coming – here’s to a wonderful new year!